Anybody got any D sized batteries?

WTF? This fool gets caught with a power plug device up his yin-yang. CHP officers first think that the device with a protruding wire is some sort of explosive device. What else did they find? Why meth, of course. The suspect, at least, came clean, ahemm, admitting that it was a personal sex toy. Dag, I would hate to have been the officer that had to remove this round mound of joy from this old dude’s “trunk”, if you will. Good thing the suspect didn’t reach for the object.

Why man (or woman)? You didn’t need to add sub-titles to your Bio-Epic, your viewers would get it a mile away, literally. It says it all in the, well let’s just say, contrarian minimalist design. No need for duplicity here, keep it simple (as much as you can, anyway).

Now, sir/ma’am, if you want a Do Over, or what you might call an Extreme Back Makeover, may I suggest approaching Big O Tire for a corporate sponsorship? Simply layering a band of dark ink around the equator will put life’s priorities back on top AND get you paid too. Now that’s a lot of Keystone light.

I wouldn’t be surprised if this person is sporting a Darth Vader helmet shaped mullet. Wouldn’t that make him/her the envy of the local flea market scene? I barely see an outline of old DV on the left side of the Black Star of Death (right under the left shoulder blade. Or, it might be Dick Cheney. Ah, now it’s beginning to make sense.

A word of caution: Do not try and get in this person’s way when he/she is making a beeline toward the food stand. I’ve seen this species channel their inner Skywalker and wave their mustard-laden corn dogs around in long, looping laser sword-like fashion when annoyed by the humble Star Trek fan.

I could be wrong though, he/she could simply turn around and boldly declare a non-verbal Talk to the Hands, not to my Face gesture.